"...longing for the state of full moon."

bismillah...

I was sitting right behind him. I never seen him before. Maybe he is  new, or maybe I was not socializing much around like Prophet do (congregational prayers is a way of how Rasulullah socializing around, isn't it? Of course without social network!).  

I hold the Quran firmly by my hand and randomly pick a page to skim, before continuing my taadarus-marathon. Well I guess everyone do have their very own tadarus-marathon for the sake of the holy month of Ramadhan. (Good luck with that!)

The brother was probably reciting some dhikr by himself, until a point when he was about to stop and left a space for me to knock in a conversation. We started off as strangers. In the end it went concise and fine. I let the the brother off since he need to wake his roommate for fajr. I wish to listen more, but the time constraint prevent me to do so.

After he left, suddenly these excerpts from Rumi (Tears of the Heart) just appears in my mind;

When you watch the full moon on a beautiful night, remember its weakness and shrinking towards the ends of the month and its longing for the state of full moon.

***

Whoever is saved from being enslaved by flesh and from being deceived by the shadows of existence grows close to Allah.

Well, it was not related directly to our conversation. Yang merah-merah tu somehow struck me deep. By the way, let me introduce the new friend.

A stranger without both legs.

You can never assume a state of a man who had a near-death tragedy to be predictable. They may look like they are okay, but somehow fragile. They may show a fine life, hiding their struggle behind their smile, but having their thought full of the "what-if?". 

What if it wasn't me?

What if I wasn't there?

And ultimately, what if you were in my place?

Fortunately, some who rise from the shadows and turns to God is certainly make a better man rather than whoever they was before. And, this guy got guts.

"What are you going to read?"
"I don't know, I just randomly pick up the page. It's a habit. haha"

"How come "its a habit"? It's kalamullah! Even the arrangement of the verses teach us something."

"hurmm, You ever heard of "God works in mysterious ways"?"

I grinned a smile. Then we turn to the Quran. On the verse 43 of surah Ali-Imran

يَا مَرْيَمُ اقْنُتِي لِرَبِّكِ وَاسْجُدِي وَارْكَعِي مَعَ الرَّاكِعِينَ

O Maryam! worship Thy Lord devoutly: Prostrate thyself, And bow down (in prayer) With those who bow down.

Hai Maryam, taatlah kepada Tuhanmu, sujud dan ruku'lah bersama orang-orang yang ruku'.

Somehow, despite the circumstances, 

I just feel that he was struggling so hard to be with those who prostrate,

his longing for joining the congregational prayers so badly 

as if he was in the state of a full man previously.

We could do so much more (in the state of full man), aren't we?

beyond Maryam

encapsulation #4

location: beyond Tasik Mahallah Maryam, IIUM.
acts: run, bike, laugh, hike, snap, fall, lie down, explore, inhale, exhale, prostrate, pray and praise.

Gombak Grand Canyon

Moon

IIUM from afar.

sneaking 'korek-korek pasir' activity

before teh tarik & fallen bridge

Every dreamer knows that it is entirely possible to be homesick for a place you've never been to, perhaps more homesick than for familiar ground.

― Judith Thurman

Knock, knock, and knock.

Knock, knock, and knock.

Silent was the reply. I walked away and returned to the seat which is located just about the entrance of the gloomy hallway. Not sure what to do, I though of killing my time by launching Falcon Pro, scrolling down the timeline, replying some mentions, and then turning it off, launching Instagram, scrolling it down, liking some pictures, accidentally liking others, I hate this, but shit happens anyway. Then I open up twitter again. This continues with the hope of my supervisor will step in that hallway soon. But he was nowhere.

Then I heard the sounds of rushing steps. A man came in. A lecturer. He was older, probably fifty-ish. But he moved like a young man and his hair wasn’t completely bald. He was neat elsewhere. I stand up automatically for paying respect with salam. He smiled then he went straight for a door. I sit down again as he passed me.

Knock, knock, and knock.

I sneaked upon him.

“Prof, I was waiting for him too.”

“Did you contact him?”

“Few times already, without response.”

He left, urgently and swiftly.

Few minutes later, he came again with a few papers in his right hand.

“Can you please just slip it down his door?”

“I will.”

“Thank you.”

Hurriedly, he handed all the papers to me. Then I turned around. Before I take my first step toward slip-in mission, I looked at him again. I saw he packed himself together with a couple of heavy luggage and clearly, a force of determination. 

At the moment, I just knew where he was going. It is the same place I long for, a place called home. 

For him, it’s somewhere around Algeria.

Ever since the last semester, I understood one thing about dealing with my supervisor (sv). He is the one who are hardly available without super duper early notification. He really is a CEO type of person.

***

It was as early as 6.30am in the morning. I was lying down on my praying matt. The phone rings. A message is received. It says “Meet me by today.” 

I sighed automatically. It’s not because meeting him is like having a forever moment of “lecture”, but it was me for not preparing anything on due.

***

"Is this engineering?" everytime people asked about the topic.

Yesterday was different. For the first time in a year of the progress, we actually talked about something off-project. We talked about life. It was so mesmerizing how ironic my SVwas. 

“Do you know how long will you live?”

“Say, 80 years”

He took the calculator and then showed me the figure.

“You have only 29200 days to live. It is only 700800 hours. It’s not much. You already finished the first quarter. How many objectives have you achieved?”

I gulped. The conversation went further than I ever thought. Some perspectives were corrected, some were debated. Sorry to say, I will not rewrite the conversation here. I would love to keep it a secret. But, surely, it was the most significant and enlightening conversation I ever had with my supervisor.

***

One day, using his liquid paper, he tried to wash off the word “Assoc.” in the front of his name. His liquid pen stacked. Technically, he failed. Indeed, he was no longer an Associate Professor. 

He is a professor.


Instead of shaking it over and over, he hobbled into his room, opening the document on his computer, scrolling down a list of students. My name was there. 

Thank you, Prof.

encapsulation #2

I always wanted to snap a picture like this. A place blissful enough which had me a lot of beautiful memories.

A place where I found interest in Jumuah with bukan-tipikal kind of text.

A place where I can comfortably take a nap on the days and sleep at nights.

A place where I can jump anonymously into any halaqah with warm welcome by  strangers.

A place where I met adorable kids laying down, looking upward then bergolek around guided by the circle path of the kubah.

A place where I had my tilawah class and skipped some lines when the ustaz fell asleep.

A place where I can hardly find a space to sleep for qiam in the last ten nights of Ramadhan (too many people, and kids!)

A place where Quran recitation never stops through the day.

A place I lost my slippers, twice.

A place I stopped by, and realized that a part of me feels like home being here.

(text) (poster)

stokin lengan buatan

bagi aku kesejukan ialah penipu senyap, dalam dingin ia buat masa terasakan perlahan, lalu kehidupan terasakan tak bermaya, dan hal-hal yang besar dikecutkan.


di sini, kesejukan adalah sebahagian dari bumi Gombak, pada fajar, tengah hari, gelap malam, tidak kira waktu, sampai jiran-jiran beratur menadah air panas sebelum mandi!


jadi, hari ini aku terjumpakan sehelai seluar terpakai yang lanjut usia yang hampir aku dermakan kepada persatuan kebajikan semester lalu. aku ambil dan koyakkan seadilnya, dilipat dua lapis sehingga kepanjangannya separuh, dikemaskan ikatan dan dijahit pada hujung selimutku.

reading in bed - credit

nah, sekarang boleh aku teruskan pembacaan lewat malam tanpa menghirau dingin alam.

Acara Disember

 

dengan padu, dua peperiksaan (decentralized) pada Jumaat petang dan Sabtu pagi membantutkan kesemua acara untuk disertai. *kecuali Khutbah Jumaat

not lima puluh yang lembab dek embun

antara SHASM - Uthman
selepas fajr sebelum dhuha
terjumpa;

dalam doa Dhuha ada tertulis;

jika rezekiku ada di langit, turunkanlah
dan jika ada di bumi, keluarkanlah,
jika sukar mudahkanlah,
jika haram sucikanlah,
Jika masih jauh dekatkanlah.

soalan.

kalau kau, masuk poket tak?

oh ya, salam Rejab!

terima kasih Ustaz

Ustaz.

Boleh tak kami baca separuh muka surat je hari ni?

*Ustaz angguk*

Kenapa tadi masa Dal baca Ustaz tak tegur pon kesalahan bacaan dia? Masa Aliff baca tadi, semuanya Ustaz semak. Makhraj huruf, titik, baris atas, baris bawah, baris depan, tanwin, tajwid, dengung, tak dengung, suara halkum, suara lidah semua bagai. Bacaan Dal tadi perfect ke ustaz?

*Ustaz angguk*

Ustaz, boleh tak Ustaz gigih sikit bagitahu kami tang mana yang salah dan pasaipa salah? Ini Ustaz cuma betulkan dengan bacaan Ustaz, lepastuh suruh kami ikut ulang. Hukum apa, cara baca, contoh ayat lain, Ustaz tak ulangsebut sekali. Acano Ustaz?

*Ustaz angguk*

Boleh tak lepas-lepas ni Ustaz kurangkan kongsi  isu politik, isu nak berbisnes, isu orang tu buat MLM tu, orang ni fe’el macam ni… Kami nak dengar kisah-kisah sebab-musabab turun ayat banyak-banyak, ini kan kelas tilawah, tak gitu Ustaz?

*Ustaz angguk*

credit - MBaqerstyle

Ustaz...

Ustaz...

Ustaz masih lena lagi ka?


________

sesi akhir kelas tilawah; SHAS mosque.

terimakasih untuk Ustaz yang gigih melayan pelbagai demand dan gurauan saya sepanjang sem ni. belajar tilawah ni, kenalah serupa stail kelas tilawah masa kecik-kecik dulu. baru seronok, ye dak?


semoga segala ikhtiar dalam hitungan Tuhan.


*eh, siapa kalah UCL tadi? kah3

[PROMO] Dadih Osem; testimoni.

PROMO!

testimoni dari pembeli

1. Haih… tak boleh makan banyak-banyak, nanti jatuh cinta.

2. Kau tahu, mencumbu dadih osem buat aku mind-orgasm.

3. Dadih osem kau ni memang OSEM bro!

4. Eh, RM1 je ke?

5. Kau buat dadih ni dengan cinta ke bro?

6. Peh, kreatif!

7. Sepatutnya dadih ni namanya dadih cinta.

8. Esok aku nak perisa coklat strawberi pulak!
9. Serius Osem!!!

10. Comel. eh ada ke attribut makanan comel?

lagi - klik sini

I. Aku rasa macam nak pergi Jepun cari Doraemon. Pinjam dari dia terowong mengecil fizikal kemudian berbaring memandang langit di atas kapal terbang ni.  *testimoni pelanggan plane replica*

II. Wanginya. Haruman Saudi disulami harum berjenama. Aku nak yang ini. Bau ni, macam candu aku.*testimoni pelanggan perfume*

Esok, SABTU 21 APRIL 2012 ialah hari terakhir untuk ENGINIUS BIZ BAZAAR FAIR 2012.
jemputlah singgah ke gerai kami di KANOPI NOMBO 5 dari FEMALE MOSQUE ENTRANCE.
kami menjual; dadih osem, perfume, jus Abqari penerang hati, mutiara Sabah, minuman, pelbagai jersi(EURO'12), tudung, preloved clothing(sisters). Semuanya dijual dengan "pekerti".

=)

bau kedai...

Alhamdulillah. dan terima kasih semua yang menderma.




entri identikal offisyel sini.

Semazen; draft 14 Mac

“Merhaba, selamat datang. Masuklah. Kau telah datang ke sebuah istana. Meskipun tampak aneh, tapi ini yang terbaik pernah kami sediakan. Marilah, ceritakan pada aku tentang apa yang kau mahu tahu.” kata gadis itu dengan senyum menyenangkan.

Kami berlegar sekeliling istana itu. Mengenali tradisi mereka melalui pakaian, manisan, sejarah dan hasil seni mereka. Cuma, ada satu lukisan yang sangat menangkap perhatian. Ada sembilan figura manusia padanya. Tersusun tiga kali tiga. Yang ditengah sedang berteleku, manakala yang lainnya menari.

“Aku kenal lelaki ini.”

“Sungguh? Siapa namanya?”

“Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi.”

“tepat sekali. apa yang kau tahu tentang dia?”

“aku pernah belajar sedikit sufism, dia antara mistikus Islam yang terkenal. Seorang sufi. aku ada dua buah buku tentangnya.”

“dia bukan sekadar sufi. Malah dia antara orang yang mula-mula bercakap tentang Allah, tentang sifat Tuhan pada zamannya. Seorang pemuisi, juga seorang filsuf.”

*angguk*

Semazen - credit

“lukisan ini tentang apa?”

“Semazen. Sejenis tari yang diasas oleh Rumi.”

“rasanya aku pernah lihat tarian ini, dalam sebuah filem.”

“biar aku ceritakan, suatu hari semasa Rumi berjalan, dia mendengar bunyi ketukan yang sangat aneh pada sebuah dinding. Orang lain mendengarnya dengan biasa-biasa. Tapi Rumi sedang mendengar atom-atom dinding itu hidup dengan zikir pada Allah.”

“kau tahu kan setiap benda bernyawa? Pembahagian makhluk bernyawa atau tidak adalah rekaan manusia. Cuma, mereka hidup dengan cara mereka. Kita dengan cara kita. Dan semua makhluk sedang berputar. Zarah-zarah kecil bergetar dan berputar. Matahari berputar, Bumi berputar, Bulan berputar. Malah mereka disusun dalam aturan masing-masing. Matahari tidak akan bisa mengejar Bulan. Malam tidak akan pernah mendahului siang.” Yassin:40

“Maka Rumi berputar. Bukankah Muslim yang lain juga bergerak dalam bulatan semasa melakukan tawaf?”

“Lihat posisi kaki mereka. Seumpama kompas yang tidak pernah mengubah arah, Rumi berputar diatas kaki kirinya sahaja seakan-akan sedang meniti siratul-mustaqim. AlFatihah 6. Tetap dan teguh. Kaki kanannya yang membuat putaran. 17 kali sehari kita menyebut ayat ini.”

“Tangan kanan sengaja ditinggikan seperti orang yang sedang berdoa. Umpama menerima tuntutan dari Allah. KalamNya Al-Quran. Dan tangan kiri rendah membumi. Kerana cinta manusia adalah jambatan pada Allah pada manusia yang lain, pada alam. Simboliknya, manusia adalah khalifatullah, menerima dan menyebarkan.”

“sebelum mereka masuk ke tengah pentas, mereka duduk di sekeliling pentas berjubah hitam. Kemudian dibuka, dan ternampak putih pada semua. Hitam yang ditinggalkan itu adalah analogi dunia yang kotor sebelum menyuci diri.”

“Mulutnya tak berhenti berzikir. Kau tahu, bila kau berhenti menyebut nama Allah hati kau akan mati kan?”

“ya. jadi, semazen bukan sekadar tarian?”

“tidak. Kau fikirlah sendiri. Ada orang kata sufism itu sesat. Tapi kalau kau punya pemahaman yang dalam, kau tak rasa begitu. Ada terlalu banyak pertambahan dalam amalan-amalan sufi oleh orang-orang selepas mereka.”

*senyum*

Ini pertama kali terjumpa seorang gadis yang boleh berbincang tentang sufism, tarekat dan Rumi. Sebelum ini tidak. Dan baru terperasan yang kami dah lama di situ. Mungkin terlalu asyik bersembang. Dan mungkin juga terpesona dengan mata perangnya. Cantik. Terlalu cantik. 

Hei, tak pernah tersepit antara “Subhanallah” dan “Astaghfirullah” ke?

*gila, hampir jatuh* 

 

Booth Turkey. Cultural Art Centre.

Ummatic week 2012.

___________________________

perbualan asal sebenarnya direkod dalam English.   -.-"

___________________________ 

 antara hasil carian Google secara rawak :

1. Blog Milimilo - link

2. Blog Nurain - link

3. Blog Myo Thant - link 

4. Blog Nisa - link 

5. Web Hidayatullah - link 

6. Rehan Fx - link