precaffeinated

- Coffee & Allah, 2007.

Dreaming dream.

"Ayah, abang tu sakit ke?"

"Ibu, dekat sana ada oyang!"

Aku tak letih melihat gelagat seorang gadis kecil yang galak pada dinihari di ruang menunggu hospital. Dia bebas, meliar melihat keadaan sekeliling. Malah, sangat rajin bercakap walaupun pekat pelatnya. Mungkin antara sebabnya, si ibu dan ayah jauh sekali melayan gajet peribadi di hadapan anak-anaknya. Memberikan ruang untuk si anak berpaut, meluah, bermain dengan sepenuh-penuh perhatian. 

Seolah-olah mengatakan bahwa dalam hidup ini, kita masih bebas membuat pilihan tanpa sempadan sistem-sistem yang ada. Bukannya aku tak percaya bahwa kita tak mampu mencipta pilihan, tetapi realiti lantang mendominasi sebaliknya. 

Pilihan-pilihan yang ada dalam hidup ialah pilihan-pilihan yang direka oleh -ism -ism untuk dihidangkan sekaligus menjadikan lingkaran ini tertutup. Perbezaannya jelas diantara 'mencipta pilihan' dan 'membuat pilihan'. 

Dan untuk lima jam menunggu ini; aku faham, sejauh mana pun hebat kapasiti upaya seorang doktor, jururawat dan pengurusan hospital; mereka juga tidak banyak pilihan, selain yang terhidang melalui prosedur, borang-borang dan keletihan dari raut wajah mereka. 

Terima kasih untuk khidmat terbaik anda.

- hospital selayang

You will fall in love with smells, the good and the bad kind.

- sg. chinchin.

Have you passed through this night?

So you live in the city. How long has it been? 

Almost like, 15 years.

Oh, wow. That's awful... but amazing. 

What?

O I mean, your persistence. That doesn't come easy. By the way, did you drive around or ...?

No, I am relying completely on the subway system... the trains, the busses...

*Hat off*

What's your alternative if something goes wrong? The rail breakdown, or the train delayed...

I'll cry. lol

For good. But life doesn't work that way. Sometimes I just walk home. But it depends on the occurrence, you got to be unlucky once in a while.

Is walking convenience? 

Oh dear. It takes me two hours to reach home. lol... It's very exhausting, but I need it anyhow. In some way walking has become my remedy of soul. Very relaxing and stress-free, of course with a cup of coffee in my hand. 

You got to see others, maybe you see someone who are just like you. Or you meet someone struggling for food, someone driving big car with attitude, someone left out in the cold without shelter, someone who lost in transition... A random bunch of people in different shoes, different ships. Searching for direction, or maybe destination... Some takes a mainstream road, some may slipped through the dark, some create shortcut. Well you never know aren't you?

There are plenty of things out there to teach you about what life is all about.

//

Selamat malam, pakcik. 

- lorong kecil kota