"...longing for the state of full moon."

bismillah...

I was sitting right behind him. I never seen him before. Maybe he is  new, or maybe I was not socializing much around like Prophet do (congregational prayers is a way of how Rasulullah socializing around, isn't it? Of course without social network!).  

I hold the Quran firmly by my hand and randomly pick a page to skim, before continuing my taadarus-marathon. Well I guess everyone do have their very own tadarus-marathon for the sake of the holy month of Ramadhan. (Good luck with that!)

The brother was probably reciting some dhikr by himself, until a point when he was about to stop and left a space for me to knock in a conversation. We started off as strangers. In the end it went concise and fine. I let the the brother off since he need to wake his roommate for fajr. I wish to listen more, but the time constraint prevent me to do so.

After he left, suddenly these excerpts from Rumi (Tears of the Heart) just appears in my mind;

When you watch the full moon on a beautiful night, remember its weakness and shrinking towards the ends of the month and its longing for the state of full moon.

***

Whoever is saved from being enslaved by flesh and from being deceived by the shadows of existence grows close to Allah.

Well, it was not related directly to our conversation. Yang merah-merah tu somehow struck me deep. By the way, let me introduce the new friend.

A stranger without both legs.

You can never assume a state of a man who had a near-death tragedy to be predictable. They may look like they are okay, but somehow fragile. They may show a fine life, hiding their struggle behind their smile, but having their thought full of the "what-if?". 

What if it wasn't me?

What if I wasn't there?

And ultimately, what if you were in my place?

Fortunately, some who rise from the shadows and turns to God is certainly make a better man rather than whoever they was before. And, this guy got guts.

"What are you going to read?"
"I don't know, I just randomly pick up the page. It's a habit. haha"

"How come "its a habit"? It's kalamullah! Even the arrangement of the verses teach us something."

"hurmm, You ever heard of "God works in mysterious ways"?"

I grinned a smile. Then we turn to the Quran. On the verse 43 of surah Ali-Imran

يَا مَرْيَمُ اقْنُتِي لِرَبِّكِ وَاسْجُدِي وَارْكَعِي مَعَ الرَّاكِعِينَ

O Maryam! worship Thy Lord devoutly: Prostrate thyself, And bow down (in prayer) With those who bow down.

Hai Maryam, taatlah kepada Tuhanmu, sujud dan ruku'lah bersama orang-orang yang ruku'.

Somehow, despite the circumstances, 

I just feel that he was struggling so hard to be with those who prostrate,

his longing for joining the congregational prayers so badly 

as if he was in the state of a full man previously.

We could do so much more (in the state of full man), aren't we?